Thursday, August 9, 2012

Counselor Appointment

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Yesterday, Matt and Imeet with a counselor and discuss our three losses. Our social worker had asked us to do this before she submitted the finished home study. She wanted to make sure that once our home study makes it to the state for approval they didn’t have any questions about our losses.  I appreciate that she is thinking ahead, I just wish this whole process was not a series of obstacles we have to pass. 

I was not thrilled. I know it’s not a big deal and didn’t cost us anything but, when I consider all that we had already done to show that we have peace about everything, it was a bit of a big deal to me. We started this process by going through 10 classes that each last 3 hrs where we discussed everything in detail during our home work assignments. We also had to do addition loss worksheets that asked for detailed answers pertaining to the loss of our little boys. We went into great detail about it at our home study. We beat this topic with a stick. I know, you’re thinking it’s not big deal, but I feel like starting a family has been such a huge obstacle for us. No matter what path we pursue there are extra steps that we have to take. 

Having a family is easy for so many people. I know every pregnancy is different and some are not so enjoyable but am I the only one that thinks it’s crazy to hear about the perfect pregnancies some women have? They see the doctor a few times during the pregnancy, push with no pain meds for a few minutes, and bring home a cute little baby that breast feeds perfectly and sleeps through the night at 1 week old. They have a great post-pregnancy body with no stretch marks, puffy face, or bruise marks from the multiple IV’s.  They go on and have a few more perfect pregnancies. I’m certainly not wishing that they had to go through all that I go through to have kids, but I do envy that it’s so easy for them.I also secretly want to tell them that I am not a bad person for having c-sections(they make it sound like anyone that does is horrible). I just smile and laugh and don't say a word about it.

I am glad that the counselor was so nice and I had accidently left the link to my blog on the bottom of one of my e-mails so she had read all my blog posts. She said she liked it. Maybe she will become a follower and go like it on facebook. 

I feel better after complaining for a bit about it all, thanks for reading my blog.

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