Wednesday, October 23, 2013

October 22, 2013 Dr Appointment Update

I had an appointment with my nephrologist yesterday. After the delivery of Baby M three months ago I hemorrhaged and that caused my kidney function to drop drastically. It was around 17 percent function and that was pretty scary. My nephrologist had said that it would come up but he didn’t think it would return to what it was before I got pregnant.

I’m so excited, amazed, and thankful to say that my kidney function improved back to what it was before I got pregnant! It may be a percentage or two lower but the numbers change from day to day so I’m going to say that it’s back to normal. It makes me feel good to know that the pregnancy went well and didn't cause any loss of function. Just in case you’re wondering my function before pregnancy was between 25-29 percent.

My cholesterol was high, and I know that a lot of girls in my kidney support group have high cholesterol but I’m hoping that it was just a onetime thing since we have been eating a lot of convenience foods since we brought Baby M home but we are getting better about eating healthy. We didn't add any medicine for this and I hope when I go back in 3 months it has improved.

My protein was higher than before, and I’m spilling right at 1.5 grams. Anything under a gram is considered good so this makes me a little nervous. As my kidneys spill more protein it causes more scar tissue and a decrease in function. He was not worried about it and said that it was not a lot but we did increase one of my medicines (Enalapril) that help with the protein spillage. I was taking it before I got pregnant as the only medicine to control my blood pressure but this time we are using it at a lower dose and the medicine I took during pregnancy (Procardia) at a lower dose. He said that even though it can help with protein it can actually cause my function to get lower. I think that increasing it just a little is a happy medium.  Enalapril is not safe to take during pregnancy or breastfeeding but he said that staying on the Procardia at a lower dose would make it easier to stop taking the Enalaparil when we start trying again.

I’ve heard several people say that I should not get pregnant again and chance my kidneys getting damaged resulting in dialysis or a transplant. The reality is that my kidney disease (FSGS) is degenerative and even if I don’t get pregnant again they will eventually stop working and I will need a transplant or dialysis.

I will go back in three months to see if the medicine change has helped and I’m praying for the protein to be reduced and more improvement in my function.

Thank you all for praying that my kidneys would get better. 

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

October Makes Me Sad

There are many things about October that I enjoy, but one thing that stays on my mind is Malakai and this month is his birthday. There are so many things that make me sad about his birthday coming up. I feel like the week he was with us was far to short and I am going to miss out on all his birthday celebrations. I always wanted lots of children and it feels like with him that dream died. I always dreamed about having 2 boys first and then 2 girls and after saying good-bye to Teddy first and then Malakai the realization that that will never happen is painful. When I see pictures of other babies that are celebrating their 2 year birthdays I feel like I'm missing out. This month is full of emotion.

I was watching a show one night and there was a scene where a dad was telling his grown son that he had a brother that died before he was born and he never told him because he didn't want him growing up missing someone he could never meet. It was such a sweet scene and it made me think about how I would talk about our losses with baby M as she gets older.

I'm slowly reading End of the Spear by Steve Saint. His dad was killed by the Waodani along with George Elliot and others as they were preparing to take the gospel to their tribe. I love this section of the book where he is talking about the death of his dad:

"What the Waodani had meant for evil, God used for good. Given the chance to go back and rewrite the story, I would not be willing to change it. Sure, it was painful, but over time I have begun to see the pain of Dad's death in a different light. If I could have changed things, I could have kept my dad. But then Mincaye would not have adopted me. Dyuwi and Kimo would not be my spiritual mentors. I would not have been part of this mysterious and wonderful Waodani world...And in the outside world, thousands and thousands of people would not have dedicated their lives to helping take the teachings of peace and comfort to people like the Waodani in frontiers scattered all over the world." pg 25
Check out his facebook page:

It took Steve Saint many years to realize the good that came from the death of his dad and I know that one day I will look back and see the purpose of Malakai's short life and the pain of his death.